


from past to present

by hollow_city



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Introspection, Loneliness, Memories, Post-Season/Series 03, Wally West is The Flash, or something like that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-16 19:27:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11259420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollow_city/pseuds/hollow_city
Summary: barry is gone, but iris sees him everywhere.





	from past to present

**Author's Note:**

> (here's hoping they give wally a real flash suit modeled after the rebirth suit in s4...)

She sees Barry everywhere.

He's been gone for two months now, going on three, and she still sees him everywhere.

She sees him in the mirror while she's getting ready in the morning as if he's still there to grin at her and tell her how beautiful she is, even though she really looks like death warmed over. She still sees him zipping around the kitchen in a panic, about to be late for work despite his speed. She still sees him opening the door after an unproductive day as the Flash and a long day as just Barry Allen, CSI. She stills sees him wandering the halls of STAR Labs, unable to sit still as he waits for something to pop up that can steal his attention. 

She sees the mannequin and at first, she sees a dark red suit and a white symbol before it fades away and is replaced with bright red and silver. She sees the tiny red dot on the monitor flicking back and forth and for a brief moment, she thinks  _Barry_ until she suddenly thinks  _Wally_ and the moment of content is shattered. She sees Wally come into the cortex as a blur and for the half a second between his entrance and his full-bodied appearance, she expects to see Barry standing there, smiling that bright smile and bouncing about like an excitable child. 

She sees Jay teaching Wally the techniques that Barry never got to teach him and for a blissful period of time, she allows herself to think that it is Barry standing there, not Jay. She allows herself to think that it is Barry that Wally is following around like a lost puppy. 

Iris sees Barry in everything. In the empty space left in the crime lab, in the cold spot beside her in bed, at the table where they used to eat dinner together. 

She will walk into the CCPD headquarters in search of Barry, as if on autopilot, and then she will remember that he no longer works here. That he has his own picture set aside as a memorial, not quite near the officers lost in action, but in a spot of his own. She will walk away without deciding to greet her father because she could find the words if she tried.

She will wake up and panic when her hand hits nothing but sheets because Barry should be there, and when he is not there, he is not okay and he is not safe. But then her mind will clear and she will remind herself that she will not find him there anymore; she will not find him by her side any longer. She will suffer nights alone and dream of his departure until the day she dies.

She will muster the courage to eat dinner and she will sit at the large table by herself, her hand straying towards Barry's spot. She will make too much food because she is used to making enough for two. She will itch to set out another plate before wanting to smack herself silly because she  _knows_ that he is not there to eat it. 

She will turn around and see him for a brief moment, grinning like only Barry Allen can, and then he is gone.

She will close her eyes to find his burned into the backs of her eyelids because she will never be able to forget them as long as she lives. She will remember the sound of his voice as he sang to her on rainy nights and the sound of his laugh when he told her stupid jokes. 

She will remember him not as the man who saved Central City, but as Barry Allen, the man who gave more than he got, the man who got back up no matter how many times he was knocked down, the man who held the entire world on his shoulders without so much as a complaint. 

She will remember him because she has nothing else.

She will close her eyes as she lies down in their...  _her_ bed, and she will wonder if this has all been a dream. She will wonder if when she wakes up he will be there, groaning at the sudden sunlight and stuffing a pillow over his face.

But for now, she will close her eyes, and she will dream.

Because in her dreams is where she's allowed to have him again.

Because for now, it will have to do. 

**Author's Note:**

> this is the shortest thing i've written to date but i like the way it turned out so oh well.


End file.
